


She Loved Him

by cheddarbug



Series: How the Mighty Fall [6]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Don't want too many tags to spoil, F/M, Feels, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 13:07:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12865140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheddarbug/pseuds/cheddarbug
Summary: How the mighty fall indeed





	She Loved Him

Crystal clear notes floated through the air, accented by the sound of tools and magitek clinking as Nero worked on yet another project in his shop. Carine sat on his cot in the corner, her fingers deftly plucking the strings of her harp to a song of her own design. She didn’t sing, the bard never sang when she played, but sometimes she hummed and it made the Garlean long to hear her voice. Something told him it was best not to ask her to sing, feeling that would be walking into dangerous territory with the woman that had captured his attention. 

He had been working for several hours now, his back and shoulders stiff from being bent over the workbench for so long. Wiping his brow from the sweat that had accumulated there, he stood up straight and stretched causing his back to pop from the shifting position. The music stopped playing, turning the engineer towards the woman that was in  _ his _ room on  _ his _ bed wearing  _ his _ shirt. 

Since when did he learn to  _ share _ ?

It had been several days, pushing a week, since Carine returned to her home from Rhalgr’s Reach after being bested by the crowned prince of Garlemald. Several days in which Nero had chosen to spend nearly all that time adding more notches to her blasted headboard as if she needed to keep score on every time they fucked. 

Which was a lot apparently. 

He couldn’t say that he minded, not anymore. She was supposed to be recovering from her wounds and resting, not that his Warrior of Light ever  _ rested _ properly. The Elezen was about as much of a busy body as Nero himself, always flinging herself into something to keep her hands busy. He supposed that was her way of dealing with the weight of the world on her shoulders, a burden that constantly weighed upon her with no hope of it ever getting lighter.

So he helped lift that burden. 

If anyone had told Nero tol Scaeva that he would spend nearly every day with a single woman, he would have killed them for insulting his dedication to the sciences. Yet here he was, a fallen general practically living under the same roof as the very woman that was the reason for his exile, training with her when he wasn’t working on his own things and fucking her senseless whenever she so pleased. 

_ Oh how the mighty fall _ . 

“Was I distracting you? I can go back upstairs if you’d like,” Carine said, stretching out her long, toned legs before her. As she stretched, the material of  _ his _ shirt rode up those legs, revealing to him what he already knew as the delectable skin upon the swell of her naked hip caught his eye. The music hadn’t distracted him, not in the least, but she was certainly distracting him  _ now _ .

_ How the mighty fall indeed _ , he thought to himself, shrugging his shirt off his back and sauntered over to her. Carine’s lilac eyes peered up at him through thick lashes, their corners lifted as she flirtatiously smiled before reaching for the broad plains of his chest. She seemed to love to run her fingers over him, tracing the muscles from his years of training to become a general, and he loved when she did it. 

“I feel I am done for the day,” he murmured, grasping her chin with his fingers and pulling her up to her feet so he could taste that delicious mouth of hers. She succumbed under his touch, leaning into him and dragging her tongue against his lips, eagerly drawing him closer. 

He loved when she surrendered to him. 

Nero turned her, pressing her against the wall, his fingers brushing her silver hair from her cheek. He brushed his lips against her, tenderly kissing the sharp outline of her jaw while his other hand lifted the hem of  _ his _ shirt on  _ her _ body. “I like this on you,” he said, nuzzling into her neck. And he did. Something about her being adorned in his things was incredibly erotic and in need of his immediate attention.

“I find this to be entirely too much clothing, and far too gaudy,” she giggled, earning a scowl from the man before her. Of course she would use this opportunity to make fun of his choice in fashion, and though Nero was an expert in giving her dirty looks for her teasing, he no longer meant them half as much as he used to.

“I think I’ll take you as you are, thank you very much,” he growled against her skin, relishing as her fingers dug into his shoulders. He had lifted her up, holding her against the wall of the shop she had made for him, nearly ready to begin the task of unmaking this beautiful, intoxicating woman before him, when she suddenly froze in his grasp. He watched her carefully, the way her pointed face tilted to the side as if she were listening to something.

“You need me  _ now _ ?” she asked, her face twisting into annoyance. “Fine, I’ll be right there. No, I’m better, thank you. See you soon Alphinaud.”

So the Scions have decided they needed his Warrior of Light again, after nearly a week of no one coming by to check on her no less. Carine had assured him that they only longed to give her the peace and quiet she deserved; all the space that she needed to recuperate from the task of being the champion of all Eorzea, but Nero wasn’t impressed. For people who hated the likes of the Garlean Empire, they seemed to have quite a bit in common with their fated foes. 

“Rain check?” she asked, her face softening while his jaw set. He pulled away from her suddenly, turning so that he could find the shirt he was wearing and put it back on his body. 

Carine said nothing as she watched Nero return to his workbench, acting as though it was a relief she was being called away to work again, but she knew that wasn’t the case. She wasn’t so blind that she couldn’t see how he had changed since that night he had come to her, the only person in all the world that worried enough to make an appearance on her behalf. She had felt herself change as well, enjoying his company and watching him work tirelessly on the technology he loved. The way those icy blue eyes of his would capture every detail, how they lit up when he figured out how to work the tech, and then how he would share in that discovery by looking at her as though she were worthy of celebrating with him.

She wondered if he knew he loved her.

She wondered if he knew she loved him.

Even now, with his temper flaring over having to share her with the rest of the world, she loved him. The Warrior of Light had no trouble admitting it to herself, though mentioning her sudden feelings to  _ him _ was quite the different story. And it wasn’t as though she wanted to love him, that had never been the intent of their coupling especially after all that she had shared with Haurchefant, but fate intervened yet again. 

As long as she didn’t say the words, life wouldn’t take him from her. As long as he didn’t say the words to her, life wouldn’t tear them apart. 

That’s what she told herself at least.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone,” she offered with a shrug. “But I’ll be back as soon as I am able.”

“I may be here, I may see if this device will work in locating Omega. You’ll manage without me,” he waved his hand acting as if he couldn’t care less. She smiled, placing her hand upon his and kissing his cheeks and then those lush lips as sweetly as she dared. 

Because she knew he cared.

**\---------------**

_ Four days! _ Nero shouted internally.  _ Four godsdamned days and not a single word! _

The Garlean paced the length of the sitting room before the fireplace, waiting impatiently for a sign that she was alright. He was being foolish and he knew it, worrying over her as if she meant more to him than...well... _ him _ . 

He let out a heavy sigh, leaning against the shelf and running a hand through his golden hair. Four days alone in her house gave him much time to think. And with a mind like his, there were no limitations for where those thoughts went. He longed to just call her on the linkshell, but if she were in enemy territory it could distract her, or if the Scions of the Seventh Dawn were around, they would question  _ who _ she was talking to. 

But the least she could have done was sent some  _ sign _ that she was well, something to let him know that he had no need to worry so that he could go back down to his shop and work without distraction. 

Nero paused at this, his eyes snapping up at the realization that he was  _ distracted _ . The ache in his chest, the restless nights that started on  _ his _ cot that lead to him trudging upstairs to  _ her _ bed just to get a few hours of sleep before waking in a hurry to see if she were finally home. 

This was enough to drive a man mad. 

_ What if something has happened? _ He thought to himself, his blood running cold in his veins.  _ What if they sent her back to Zenos? If something happened, I would be the last to know. No one other than her knows I am here. What if... _

His mind raced as his heart pounded in his chest. He wanted it to stop. He hated the worrying, hated the fear, hated the unknown of it all.

He hated that she did this to him.

The man had surely lost his mind as he took his hands and beat against the shelf to vent his frustration. What had happened to him, why was he turning into this soft shadow of his former self? Wasn’t  _ he _ supposed to be the one enjoying making her vulnerable to him over and over again? He had certainly taken great personal pleasure from her surrender to him, enjoying in all her weaknesses displayed to him. He had reveled in  _ owning _ her and  _ using _ her at every turn. 

He  _ had _ enjoyed holding her life in his hands, knowing that if he had truly wanted to he could have snuffed it out on more than one occasion.

But all of that had changed after that night. He no longer wanted to  _ hurt _ her or weaken her or take pleasure in her vulnerability to him. No, now he had been gentle, sweet, tender...

_ Loving. _

That single word nearly made his heart stop within his chest. Nero tol Scaeva didn’t  _ make love _ . He didn’t care for anything other than his own survival. It was why he had come to the Scions after that idiotic Ala Mhigan turned himself into possibly the most powerful primal Eorzea had ever seen. Nero wasn’t a fool, there were safety in numbers, and the fact that the Warrior of Light nearly single handedly halted the Empire’s progress (the Empire he had been exiled from), left him with no choice but to attempt to join their forces. 

It had been that opportunity that had allowed him to get closer to Carine than anyone before, save perhaps this Haurchefant that once held her heart. 

Nero ignored the pangs of jealousy over the fallen lover of the woman he refused to admit he cared for, but he could still feel them there beneath the surface.

If only she would just let him know she was well...

He tilted his head back, inhaling to calm himself and prepare to go to the workshop when a small black box just above eye level of the tall Garlean caught his eye. He had never been one to pry through her things because if anyone understood personal space, it was him, but he found himself curious at why it seemed hidden away. 

Carefully he picked it up and examined it. Nothing fancy, just a simple black rectangle with what looked like an Ishgardian crest on it. With a frown, he lifted the lid to reveal a golden key. Nero wasn’t sure what was so special about a key or why it needed to be hidden from sight when a small bit of paper fell from the lid of the box and onto the floor. His curiosity got the best of him, leading him to unfurl the paper and read the smooth, neat handwriting upon it:

_ My home is yours - Aymeric _

Nero swallowed hard, struggling to fight against the incomprehensible rage that threatened to consume him as waves of intense jealousy washed over his being. Why would she hold onto this? He knew well enough that she wasn’t seeing that blasted Elezen as she had spent all her time with  _ him _ in her house and he knew it wasn’t likely that she was with that lord now as she would have needed this key.

Or did she?

Anger gave way to a crushing misery that clutched at his heart. Of course she would keep this. As highly as Nero thought of himself, he also knew that he wasn’t worthy of the affections of the Warrior of Light, no matter how much she allowed him to think he was. This Aymeric, Nero had seen him once before when he joined up with the Scions for the first time, he was certainly someone far more worthy of her love and adoration. 

The Garlean didn’t even care how the man looked, for he himself was tall and considerably handsome, but this Elezen was  _ good _ . And that was something that no matter how he felt about Carine, Nero could never truly be. He was selfish, arrogant, ambitious, his ultimate goal being his own survival and the desire to be remembered in history as the genius magitek engineer he knew himself to be. 

There was no time for love in all of that. There was no time to spend his days enjoying her lovely body pressing against his, the sound of his name on her lips, the distraction that she was when wearing his clothes. No, he had spent far too long wasting valuable time when he could have been pressing his own agenda and finding Omega before the likes of the Cid Garlond.

So why did the thought of never seeing her again hurt so badly?

**\---------------**

“Nero?” Carine’s voice called out into the basement of her home as she searched for her Garlean. She had been gone for five days, sent upon several pointless missions that involved talking to people that they could have sent anyone other than her to do, though she had to be there for when they made their plan to travel to Doma and help liberate the people there at the behest of Gosetsu and Yugiri.

She found him hard at work in his shop, not even pausing to greet her as she sat down upon his bed and waited for him to finish what he was doing. She waited several long minutes before he finally turned around, gracing her with a wicked grin.

“You could have called,” he said, striding towards her and pulling her in for a surprising embrace. 

“They kept me busy,” she mumbled into his shoulder, breathing in the sharp smell of metal and grease and this spice she couldn’t quite name. He was positively intoxicating. “Mind if we pick up where we left off?” she begged, sinking her teeth into the flesh that connected his neck to his shoulder, earning a hiss as he gripped her tight. 

“Yes.”

Carine barely had time to brace herself before he had her pushed against the wall, tearing at her clothes as if this had been the moment he had been waiting for during her absence. She struggled against him, trying her best to help him rid herself of the pesky garments that were in the way. The bard wasn’t entirely sure how he managed to rip off all her clothes as quickly as he did, nor did she care as he claimed her mouth in a rough, passionate kiss. 

By the Fury, he was going to unmake her.

She allowed him to continue his assault against her mouth as she ground her hips against his, feeling him harden beneath her. He changed his target, lifting her higher and balancing her against the wall so that he could lave his tongue against the swell of her supple breast, grasping at her tightening nipple with his teeth.

Carine couldn’t control the shuddering gasp that fell from her lips, her hands pulling at his hair while he bit and nipped and teased her sensitive flesh as though it were the only thing that mattered. 

_ She loved him. _

Nero pulled her away from the wall, forcing her legs to wrap around his trim waist as he took her to his workbench, scattering his projects haphazardly across the floor to take her there. 

_ She loved him. _

His pants were gone, kicked carelessly to the side as his icy blue eyes dilated at the sight of her naked body lying upon his favorite place to work. His favorite place to take her. His favorite place to  _ fuck _ .

_ She loved him. _

He surprised her by gently parting her thighs and pressing the broad head of his cock against her, slowly, oh so slowly, sliding into her inch by delicious inch, letting her body adjust to him while he continued to kiss her eyes, her cheeks, her lips, her neck.

_ She loved him. _

Nero’s fingers traced gentle patterns against her skin and it pebbled in his wake though fire burned in her veins. He thrust into her, setting a steady, quick rhythm that let her know this wouldn’t last long. That was fine, she didn’t need long. 

_ She loved him _ .

Her pleasure crescendoed within her, pushing her higher and higher as the Garlean worshipped her like a goddess that he found reason to believe in, his hands devoted to her pleasure as his mouth kissed her in earnest. 

_ She loved him. _

Carine’s body bowed beneath him, his name a prayer to the heavens and to all the gods as she reached her climax. She dragged her nails down his back, begging him not to stop until he had his fill of her. She would give him everything,  _ everything... _

_ She loved him. _

He stiffened above her, his beautiful eyes rolling back as he reached his own release, thrusting once, then twice, before clutching her to his chest. She comforted him, not knowing what his troubles were, holding him and caressing him as he left her body. Immediately she missed him, longed for him be that close to her again, but he needed to recover and he needed her.

_ She loved him _ .

Nero pulled her off the table, picking her up and carrying her to the small cot in the corner, laying down first so that she could lay snug against him, her body the perfect fit against his. She sighed in content, her fingers feather light against his sweat-slick skin

_ She couldn’t tell him she loved him. _

“I take it you missed me,” she grinned, nuzzling into the place where his neck met his shoulder. He didn’t respond and he didn’t relax, but she didn’t notice as she was caught within her own bliss. 

“I know why you do this,” he finally allowed himself to say after several minutes of her content silence. 

“Mmm?” she mumbled against him, kissing his chest. 

“I’m your way of punishing yourself,” he said, staring up at the ceiling. 

“If this is punishment, then I am one lucky woman.” She thought he was playing with her, toying with her like this was some joke. 

“You want to know what I think?” he asked, steeling himself for what he was going to do, what needed to be done, what she wouldn’t do if presented the chance.

“Think about what?” she asked.  _ Ah, there is the concern _ , he thought to himself as she shifted beside him. He had but moments now before her naked body would leave his, likely never to return. 

“I think you are in love with this Aymeric. I think you hate yourself for loving him and take that out by using me,” he replied coldly. Carine shot up, her eyes wide in shock.

“I-I don’t understand. Where...how...what are you on about?” she stumbled over the words, those large lilac eyes staring at him in disbelief. 

Nero sat up with her, turning so his legs were off the bed and no longer tangled with hers. “It’s why you keep his key hidden, isn’t it? So once you are able to no longer feel guilty for falling for the friend of your former love, you could go to him, yes?”

The blank stare that answered him made him wonder if his accusation was accurate. It had to be. For her sake it did.

“You went through my things?” she glared at him. “If I didn’t know any better,  _ Nero _ , I would say that you were jealous. Though over what, I am not entirely sure.” She stood then and went to where her clothes were piled upon the floor, jerking each piece on until she were fully clothed. 

“Me? Jealous? Of that fool? You must be mistaken,” he said callously, avoiding her glare while he went about gathering his own things. He began to wish he hadn’t cleared his table now, wondering how many of his delicate pieces may have broken in his moment of weakness. “However, I don’t appreciate sharing my things. I believe I told you this in the beginning?”

“One, I am not a  _ toy _ to be owned or  _ shared _ ,” she snapped. Good, she was getting angry. That would work in his favor. “Two, I haven’t been to Ishgard since that night you turned me away in favor of your  _ projects _ .” She advanced on him now, jabbing a long finger into his chest hard enough to hurt. “And three, I thought you didn’t do love? You had my body, what did it matter if he had my heart?”

_ If he had your heart, Carine, why do I see it breaking now? _ Nero thought to himself, though he braced against the emotion that threatened to overcome him. This was better for them both, better for  _ him _ . 

“I don’t, but in your past experience, doesn’t one lead to the other?” he replied simply, using every bit of his self control to let her know that hadn’t happened to him even if it had. 

“Why are you doing this?” her voice fell, her strength and anger leaving her in favor of anguish. It was almost enough for Nero to tell her that he wanted to take it all back, that it was a lie to help her give up on his distraction and focus her efforts into the war at hand...almost.

He had come to the conclusion that though he certainly felt  _ something _ for her, whether that be love or something else, he knew that they could never be. His ambition would potentially lead to their rivalry once again, or at least him against the Scions. It would put her in the precarious situation of having to choose between him and them, and that was a choice he found that he didn’t  _ want _ her to have to make. On top of that, she needed someone  _ good _ in her life, that would urge her to do good and not tempt her into darkness. Nero wasn’t that person and he was far too selfish to change himself to be that person. This didn’t even take into account that if he were to change so drastically the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, her  _ friends _ , would even believe him capable of the act. 

“Tell me,  _ Warrior _ , what did you think would happen? Did you think that this tryst with you would make me a better man?” he asked. “Did you think that I would come to  _ love _ you? You did, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t expect-” she began, but he placed a finger to her trembling lips. What he was about to say would seal the deal and turn her away from him forever. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that she would hate him till the end of her days. But she could never hate him more than he hated himself.

He forced himself to curl his lips into a cruel smile, his eyes gazing down on her in contempt as he put his lips to her long ears. “If you feel as though I would allow myself to love you, then you don’t know me well enough at all. There isn’t much I adore more than myself, and I have found that the side effects of loving  _ you _ are life threatening.”

Nero had considered several reactions from her, all of them being physical, but he couldn’t have possibly accounted for the speed or the strength she displayed as she slapped him across the face. He had hoped that she would have done more to hurt him, perhaps break his nose like she had before, ugly him up and send him on his way so he could be reminded of what scum he was as he left to lick his self-inflicted wounds, but all that was there was the sting of her hand and the fury behind her eyes that let him know the words had done their job.

“Get out now,” she ordered, her voice frighteningly calm. He feared her more in this moment than he had ever feared anything. “I’m leaving for Doma in a couple days. When I return, I want every trace of you gone from  _ my _ house. Understand?”

Nero nodded, his jaw set firm as his heart pounded within his chest. He had succeeded. She hated him. Perhaps it wasn’t enough to trash everything he worked on in the shop or everything that was his, but it was enough to know that he couldn’t return. 

And that was truly the best thing to do, right? Giving her a single-minded focus that would drive her against the Garlean forces she was no doubt targeting in Doma was the best thing for those people. Ridding her of the distraction that was  _ him _ was perhaps the best thing for all of Eorzea.

Carine left before him, storming out of the house and mounting upon her griffin before flying off into the sunset, leaving him to wonder why anyone ever did the right thing if it felt so fucking wrong. 

_ She never said she loved him _ .

**Author's Note:**

> This was not easy...nor was it pleasant.


End file.
